Saturday, July 11, 2009

Another week of pain and accomplishments

Almost a week since my last post? I've been busier than I thought. It's been another week of really bad increased pain. I'm hoping it has mostly to do with my thyroid and will get better soon as they straighten that out. Of course we can't rule out the weather or stress or fighting with my husband.
I got to do some things this week outside of work and migraine which is good. Sunday I went to the family picnic. This is me with my big hat and sunglasses to keep the world out from causing me pain.

Then, on Tuesday I went to dinner with my YaYa's - girls dinner out. My friend Mary lives out of town so I wasn't missing that dinner no matter how bad it hurt. My friend Vicki graciously agreed to drive me since I was in a lot of pain and I don't like to test the waters of driving in that much pain or on pain meds.

Then, Friday I got to go over lunch with my friend April to look at wedding dresses for her upcoming wedding. Again with hat and glasses cause it can be bright in those places. That was good to go to.

Thursday I unfortunately had a complete breakdown at work and even brought someone else into my tears. Tired of the pain and how it affects my family. My husband on Wednesday night had reached his limit again. He's not mad at me he's just mad at the pain I'm in but it sometimes comes out as toward me. I tried to talk him into going and talking to someone about how hard it is to take care of someone in pain so much of the time because I know it's hard and he holds it in until he blows. I totally failed at that - he says if he can't fix it himself than he has a bigger problem and he's not going to talk to anyone else about his relationship with me. Even though he knows it makes me feel better to have a therapist. He doesn't like that either though, he worries I'm telling her something bad about him. Which I don't because he's a great help and a great care giver. He is also dealing with his 94 year old grandma who is getting worse with her memory and acting up - not like herself at all and that's so hard.

I did get some good work done this week. Finished the training materials for the classes I'll be teaching the next two weeks. I will be wearing sunglasses or turning off the lights in the classroom - most students are ok with that I've noticed if you are up front about why and tell them you'll do a better job teaching them in those conditions than any other.

Clients the same, I've been up front and honest that during the meeting I need the lights off or I will be wearing sunglasses - I prefer the lights off because the lights over my head in meeting rooms produce some kind of heat that aggravates my migraine even with my sunglasses on. I tell them you can have me smart and helpful or I opt for the possibility that I'll be on the floor in horrible pain unable to help. When they comply with my requests and I'm able to function well they are happy with my productivity and what I can do to help them. I haven't had a single client be contrary and most are very gracious and appreciative of me.

It amazes me how people with this kind of pain or any, for me it's constant migraines but any sort of constant pain, can push it to the back and turn on for the client, teaching, family matters, whatever has to be done and then when it's over you're back to "how did I do that with this much pain?" Well, that seems to be me. I had one client tell me they were very impressed with me and when our firm holds external webinars they would only sign up for ones I was teaching - quite a compliment. I also won a new client consulting project that I had been trying to get in with to talk to for months. After talking to them for 15 minutes I had them sold even though I needed another hour to explain what I was suggesting for the consulting work. So another win.

I am happy that I was able to accomplish things and I have a to do list a mile long but I just breathe and say I'll get to it when I get to it - so unlike the person I used to be.

So, still chugging along and still in high pain, can't wait to blog that the pain is less again - I don't even think about no pain anymore. Oh, I also got 3 full yoga workouts in last week which is better than I had been able to do so maybe I am on the upswing.

Here's to living life and not living pain!

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