Short post -
Been in really bad way with migraine lately - pain just won't let up. Got depressed and started thinking I deserved the pain so didn't take my meds for a day and a half and that made it worse, of course. Trying to get back on track and find my way back to happy thoughts despite the constant migraine.
Went to do some errands today and at one store I almost passed out, could taste the bile and broke out in a sweat and had to leave. Sat in my car until I was well enough and then went to another store and got the things I had to have - the first store was overcrowded and I felt like I couldn't breathe in there - and got home okay.
Migraine then got mad that I put it through that and is showing its anger still. Have to get calm and stay calm. Listened to @freemybrain relaxation tapes and that helped for awhile but then the world came back in along with the stress and the pain at its height.
Hate to take shot so early in the week since I can only have two a week, but probably the best idea.
I have to let down my 16 year old son because of his father in getting him a phone that isn't a pay as you go - which is what he has now. He wants on my plan and I want him on it but his dad keeps using his phone as his own and I don't want to pay for my exes phone bill. He's done this before and even said to my sister-in-law whom he is friends with that he's looking forward to me putting Patrick on my plan so he can use that phone and get rid of his own, so my fears are grounded in reality. But, I hate having to say no to Patrick for something not his fault. He lives with his dad - I have one child with me and he has the other. I guess 2 years isn't too long until he's in college and I won't have this worry. I just hope he feels that way. Anyhow, the worrying about it has my head in more pain.
I wonder if one day I will have a brain melt down - annuerism or stroke because of the pain being so constant and all the time - can't be good for my brain.
I want to live a happy good long life with my family and friends. Have to keep trying for a solution to all this. I hope research continues and an answer is one day found.
I don't stay long in these depressions due to pain, so I'll be better again soon and back to me. Can't wait!
This Too Shall Pass
I'll use my essential oils and herbs and meditation and yoga and take my meds and get back up on the horse and get some good work done tomorrow and I'll feel better.
That's the plan - I know we all go through this, just a bump in the road - hope to be back here soon saying I may still be in pain but I see the light and am living my life to the fullest.
My life living with Multiple Chronic Illnesses. I have learned that all effect each other as I manage each one and my life. My disability came when my Migraines became constant, Status Migrainosis (all the doctors say that I will always have migraine), Cervicalgia - migraine in my neck, Hypothyroidism, NCS a type of fainting disorder, Essential Tremor, Narcolepsy w/o cataplexy, Tinnitus, and Anxiety. I have a love of life and find I have to constantly re-define success for myself.
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Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for this bad patch. Just know that this is NOT your fault and nobody deserves to be in that much pain. I hope things get better for you soon!
I'm sorry you are feeling bad. Why would you think you DESERVE the pain?!? We do not deserve to be in pain. I hate that you feel that way. It makes me very sad. :o( Please take care of you and try to feel better. You truly deserve to be happy, well and pain-free. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteFighting the good fight,
Teresa <><
http://toomanyheartbeats.blogspot.com
*hugs* Your pain is definitely not deserved.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your ex is trying to take advantage. If I were given a cell phone when I was 16, my mom would have made me pay the bill (I was working at that age). If it's coming out of his pocket, your son will be less likely to let anyone use it :)