I got a lot of work done today but I don't know how. Might have to redo some tomorrow. It's amazing how a brain can still work when it's in so much pain. I think after so long of being in pain you can put it aside to do what you have to do even though you still feel it and then when you're done it comes back to you consciously and you feel all that much worse. But, thank heavens for being able to still function.

I worked on the FAS109 training I'll be teaching in July and worked on a lot of foreign tax issues for others at work - answering a lot of questions. I really enjoy both of these aspects of my job. I am so lucky to be able to work from home because the pain seems unbearable.

It always makes my head hurt even worse when I take a shower when it's this bad but I feel it can't get much worse and now that I'm done with work, I'll do that - take a shower - and it will be worse and then I'll take my strong medicine and meditate and relax and try to flow with the pain.

I have degrees of meds I take, 1 those that I take as preventatives for migraines - which if they do work and I know they do then without I'd be screaming all the time and taking my head off which is where I was last year, 2 those I take when the pain starts creeping up on me and starting to get worse - not so strong that you'd notice a change in me, mostly muscle relaxant and visteral to open the blood vessels, 3 those I take when I need more pain relief - heavier meds and 4, the toradol shot - which I can only take twice a week but is the only thing that consistently brings the pain down so I am careful to only take it when absolutely necessary.

I don't take any of the normal migraine meds anymore after years with doctors and tests - no more imitrex and the like - they didn't work anyway very well for me and the doctors found I have some vasospasms (for which I take Verapamil) so they don't want me on anything that constricts my blood vessels. So, I'm on nothing which causes rebound headaches at least. Not that I'd notice since the pain has been continuous for so long now.

Anyhow - all that said and vented, I'm off to my shower and then to the Toradol shot because I need it now and the shower will make it worse so might as well do that first.

I am proud of myself for getting some good work accomplished today and happy and grateful that my husband is home in case I fall or pass out - which happens from time to time with the pain.

More later - keeping the faith that pain is not who I am!